And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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