my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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