she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
