why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
