um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
