are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
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I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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