By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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