He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
