Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
