Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
