we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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