Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I bet he comes in French.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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