I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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