my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
