yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
