He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
