i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
