I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Every concussion has its silver lining
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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