IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
