Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
