He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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