Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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