I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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