things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize