So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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