look no pants
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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