Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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