And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
