I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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