apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She told me I should be a condom model.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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