Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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