Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Two words: nipple clamps
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