; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Buhtt sex?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
