my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
