I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
