How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
