I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
