my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
