There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
