Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
