im having a threesome with these popsicles
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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