Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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