my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
What a dumb baby whore.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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