Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
