what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
