You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
