and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
