so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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