How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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