Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
