I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize