it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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