i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
