You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
