I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
