We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
