He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
