he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
