Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
